The State Bank of Idiots!!

I recently had the misfortune to gift away my wallet to a perfect stranger. Having 3 different bank accounts made it all the more fun. I'm listing below my experiences with all the banks involved in blocking the cards, applying for new ones and finally reactivating them.

ICICI Bank
* Call up their call center
- Promptly attended by a very polite and courteous agent
- Very professionally dealt with the problem
- Card blocked
* Card reissued (earlier than the proposed date, with extra charges)
- Pin issued (earlier than the said date, with no extra charges)
* Call up their call center
- Card activated

AXIS Bank
* Call up their call center - Prompty attended by a very polite and curteous agent
- Card blocked* Card reissued (later than the proposed date, with extra charges) - Pin issued (later than the said date, with extra charges)* Call up their call center for reactivation - Advised to visit the nearest branch again for reactivation
* Visit the branch
- Promptly attended
- Card reactivated

State Bank of India
I look up on the net for their call center number, two different numbers turn up! One is a toll free and another is a land line number, needless to say, both the numbers were not attended to when called. I get frustrated and go to the nearest branch only to find it deserted. It was apparently lunch time and all the staff had decided to have lunch together and then sit in a corner to yap about their wives/husbands.
After an agonizing wait in a deserted branch with no customers some guy decided to return to his seat. I approach him and tell him the issue, he listens and after much deliberation tell me to call their call center. I prompty tell him that i did but nobody answered, he smiles and says 'lunch time boss!' He dials the toll free number from his desk and hands over the receiver to me. The IVR asks me to press 2 for English, i look up to ask the guy to press the number for me and he is gone! Im stading over a counter with just a receiver expecting somebody to press a number on frikkin phone a good 5 feet away. I hang up and wait, the guy comes back. I ask him to hand over the phone so that i can do the sync without me shouting orders at him to press numbers.

After the usual ritual of pressing a series of numbers, a very sweet girl answers the phone. The conversation goes like this:

Girl: Hello, Sheetal speaking. Welcome to SBI, how can i help you?
(without any goddam emotion, am i calling up an escort service for Christ’s sake!)
Me: Hai, my name is Abhishek, i've lost my card can you block it please?
Girl: Give me your accnt number. (idiot!)
Me: xxxxxxxxxx
Girl: Where are you calling from? (dumbass)
Me: Chennai
Girl: Which branch? (do I have to ask you all the frikking questions myself?)
Me: T.Nagar
Girl: Is T.Nagar in Chennai?
(i realize she is sitting up in Delhi or Mumbai)
Me: Yes
Girl (after much thought): What does T stand for?
Me: Thyagaraya
Girl: Spell it for me
Me: T*H*Y*A*G*A*R*A*Y*A
Girl: Im sorry, i dont have anything like that on my system, can you spell it again?
Me: I try again
Girl: Sorry sir, i can block your card only if you give me a correct spelling
Me (dumbfolded): How does a spelling for T categorize as a security setting!! Ask me a personal question on the account for you to confirm. (Only now I realize that the girl is actually asking me a Security question)
Girl: Ok, Give me the bank code for ‘T’ Nagar?
Me: How would I know that?
Girl: Ask the bank guy. (dumbo)
Me: (totally confused) But u said it was a security question?
Girl: (agitatedly) Sir, can you please give me the bank code?
I ask the bank guy for the code of T nagar branch and he promptly hands over a sheet to me with all the branches of SBI in India. I filter through 100’s of branches of SBI to locate T nagar branch which is invariably listed as Panagal park branch when all the while I was search on branches starting with ‘T’. After much deliberation I manage to find the branch code and tell it to the girl.
Girl: Your card is blocked now. I’ll give u a 13 digit number using which you can reapply for your Debit/Credit cards.
Me: Thank you

Armed with the 13 digit number I visit the T Nagar branch of SBI for reapplying my cards. Invariable i go on a lunch time and wait for the pan chewing ‘almost retired’ uncle to help me reapply. He advises me to fill up an application form situated somewhere between the printers. By the time I find the form and return to his desk, the uncle is gone! I duly fill up the form and wait for another agonizing 15 mins when a ‘I am still young’ maami asks me to leave the form on the table and that she will inform the guy. I thank her and leave.

[2 months later]
I have no clue about my card status……. The wait continues!

Never listen to your heart!.......sometimes

The digital clock on the dashboard shows 11:25 pm, im thundering down the elevated highway across Electronic City, Bangalore. One look at the Chevy Cruze speedo and i know im covering distances fast, very fast infact, 140kmph. Having the whole of the expressway to myself decided to put the pedal-to-the-metal. The turbo boost was instant 150's came, 170's came and went, trees and buildings were passing a tad faster and turning into a speak very quicky on the rearview.

Soon the needle was inching 190's, the car was gunning for glory with all its mighty 150+ horses going flat out. I realize suddenly there is absolute silence in the car, my passengers are dead silent. The only muffled sound was that of the turbines spinning at a furious pace. I look at the needle, its 200kmph and still there is a lot of road left and strangely the car seemed to kidd me on. It was like a galloping pure bred stallion happy that its caged life is over, moving at a frantic and controlled pace with vigorous enthusiasm which can be easily mistaken for aggression. I could literally hear my heart thumping at a 1000 beats per minute as the meter now read 210kmph and was still on the upward spiral. The Chevy Cruze was infact cruzing to glory. I realize either i have to be completely mad to listen to the car or equally insane to listen to my heart to go further. I decided neither and took my leg off the pedal. The closing meter was 210 kmph and the meter had only another 10kmph left (220kmph)!

As i crawled to a steady 100 kmph i realized driving gave me a better satisfaction than anything else in the world. Also realized, life has to be never taken seriously....you make your choices and dont f*c#$%in look back!!

Today is April 14 2009

I so badly wanna record this day in my life. Wish i had somebody following me with a camera for today only, only today. I have never ever been so overwhelmed in my life...im sure there will be more days like this but for a start today April 14, 2009 at Saudi Arabia is 'THE' day.
Wer do i start? ok here goes...
I squirmed, apologized a 100 times (mistakes are all mine!), felt like killing myself by jumping outta a car travelling at 140kph, apologized again, spoke my heart out to who ever would listen, reallocated tasks to my team, restrategized mine/team Visa arrangments, got managment lessons from an illustrious collegue, ran into problems which will never occur in a normal work day and the list goes on. Its 10 pm now and im still waiting for any bloody suprises which are in hold to complete my day!
Gosh, will you ever stop learning in life? I think not...but if every learning day is like this then hell no! I wud rather gladly strip to the barest minimum and brave a snow storm than face the music of my superiors.
Hitting the sack now and waiting for tomorow to start new with a new set of suprises.
Life is just so awesome!!

Realizations!!

There are somethings which you realize as you grow up although most of the time u live in a state of denial. I've actually realized the following things today:

• i dont know to say 'No'
• i really need to control my weight, its no longer easy to stay in shape after ur 25
• drinking is only for fun and should not be done religiously
• learn to control your tongue when your drunk
• not all beautiful girls are girlfriend material
• speeding is fun but an arm and a leg is a little too much to loose
• your dad is always right (well almost alwayz)
• your mom still thinks your 16 yrs old and treats you like one
• your girlfriend(s) are not the end of the world
• you really need to start saving monie
• your relatives dont need you
• most of your friends dont need you
• respect your parents and buy them gifts
• your mobile is an extention of your body
• cartoons are boring
• world news actually matters
• tv serials are the worst things happening to women at home
• politicians suck big time, they can wipea@#$ instead of laundering monie
• there are genuine good people in this world
• never judge people likewise never confide in people
• cricket is the most overhyped sport in India....Dhoni prbly contributes to more than half of the GDP of Jharkkhand
• did i mention politicians are bigots, thiefs, criminals, pimps and they happen to decide the fate of our country.
• tamil is an incredibly amazing language and has to be preserved

Absolutely rocking!!

I had to have this information posted, read http://fakesteve.blogspot.com Its quiet possibly the funniest shit you can read on the web for a long long time. Absolutely hilarious.

9 minutes of absolute freedom

Ok this is something which was advocated by one of my mates, wat wud i do if i got 9 mins of absolute freedom?
* reduce crude oil prices
* get Bush a special posting in Iraq (not as a diplomat but as an army unit engaging the occupied forces) for the rest of his life
* make politicians suffer for their disregard to the society
* get myself admitted into IIM
* reduce my abs
* learn to swim
* steal a 9 min ride on an R1 (thats God, for yamaha enthus)
* crash a Rolls-Royce just for fun
and finally
* keep doin bungees of a bridge in NewZeland!!

A broken promise

Ok, i broke a promise...i made a promise to myself that i wont needlessly drive like an idiot with other idiots on the road. I really dont have to put my life on the line and race with guys i hardly care abt. Of course it gives me a high wen i beat the crap outta 'em but is it really worth it?

I did it on Friday and did it 2day, i need to stop this whole "whoz the man?" stuff. Now im seriously thinking abt swapping my Yamaha for my sisters Honda. Who knowz, it cud save somebody their life.

"Speed kills", oh yeah i've heard that before!!

Yami!! the very best

I ride a Yamaha RX100 and im mighty well proud abt it. My bike may be as nearly as old as me but it still rocks and can beat the shit outta any goddammed 4 strokes on the roads. My driving days are on the backburners now, im done with my college and settling down into this new job but occasionally i gun the throttle just to see if i've still got the adrelain rush to go flat out in heavy traffic. The pleasure of zipping through traffic at breakneck speeds past unsuspecting 4 strokes is just pure worth the risk!!!

I was riding home from work on friday nite, my house is on the outskirts and it normally takes me 30 mins on the state highway to reach my place. I was doin abt 60-70km/hr but since i've got a Yamaha RX100 i would sound like its doin 100km/hr. I was just beginning to enjoy the rev and the roar of the engine when a Pulsar with a female pillion rider meanly cut into me, that really pissed me off and broke my peace.

The guy obviously trying to show who's the boss to his female partner thought ill give up easily and he can boast abt it with his girlfriend. Well well well....i had other plans, we had nearly 15 kms of the state highway to ourselves, being pongal season the roads wer not as crowded, so it was just the both of us and a traffic free highway, wat a setting.

For some reason i dont like the Pulsars, i dont make assumtions, id driven many pulsars right across the plains of coimbatore to the hills of ooty, the pulsar is not a very good bike as portrayed. Its not got a gud riding position and its not rock solid at highspeeds and more over it doesnt really accelerate etall. Its cumbersome and heavy and drags from 0-100 in goddamm watever mins...

Well coming back to the race setting, i had a feeling that the pulsar was going to be fast on the straights and my only chance was acceleration. My yamaha is nearly 15yrs old but its got a new engine with just 400kms logged and i didnt want to push the bike hard. Imagine my surprise when i gunned the throttle, i was doing 90 and began to gain an definite edge over the pulsar, but by 100 the pulsar started kicking up a real fight! The bike is afterall brand new and its a performance bike..... lol!!!!

Searing past 100 the dynamics of the bikes came to play, the yamaha was rock solid and very firm on the curves and during overtaking, but the pulsar was kinda bouncing off the road at every bump and hole. I immediately knew that if i manage to go past 110 the pulsar is history and history it was!!

I raced into my neighborhood and waited by the road side to let the pulsar pass. I honked when he passed just to spoil his repute, the arse thought he could show off in front of his gurlfriend by taking on a yamaha.....idiot. And the best past....... the look on the girls face ....priceless!!!

"Somethings money cant buy for everything else there's a Yamaha!!"